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[Elias]

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I don't know where to begin. We are both two Black Men living in Atlanta. I was am in a relationship with a man who has Graves Disease he was Diagnosed about 19 years ago after a relative died, Im 35 he is 40. I cannot imagine how this makes you feel for those that have it, but do people undergoing this horrible disease know how much we care and feel this with you?  We have been together for 7 years, engaged for about two. Things started getting really strange about 4 months ago. They used to be affectionate and sweet and tell me how much they loved me, and i would do the same. He used to tell me how lucky he was to have me. Than all of a sudden, their temper got shorter, patience got thinner.  A couple of weeks ago, they spilled something on our carpet ; he is usually quite a neat freak. He woke up that morning and started arguing with me shouting saying why can't i clean my own mess, he  had spilled juice all over apparently and 30 minutes later didn't remember spilling it. It turned into a nasty argument. His hand started to tremor and shake,his leg weakened, he started sweating, I went to hold him he grimaced. His memory is shot, he can't concentrate, won't communicate unless he is pissed, usually at the world. As of 4 months ago he sleeps on the couch or the other bedroom. He is so cold we have zero sex life, totally sexless. We talked about his memory loss, is it possible he has dementia too? I know he sometimes forgets to take his meds. 

He obsesses about his weight now, he works out but has developed man boobs and that make this beautiful man self conscious. He had always been skinny and tall. I ask him if he still wanted me and if  there is  someone else , anything. If they wanted to break up. 

 

He says no and then gets upset. When he tells me sweet things he doesn't remember them. He has no affection , well he does smile at me.Libido is zero.  He actually told me he didn't love me the other day and that I was clearly hearing things if i ever thought he did, he said this within earshot of his sister, about how he would never love me.  I kept my composure and said ok, Two days before he was like I love you babe, in front of her. She was like this is a lot my brother is very sick. It wasn't like this before. He treats me horribly, this is just not what Im used to. I don't know how to deal. Every conversation centers around them now or their ex, the say really offhanded things and their tone is so nasty. They talk about how they have ruined things in the past but take no accountability for what they have done to me. They asked me to move in with them so I had about a year ago. This has all been recently. The other day they had an attitude woke up and was  like I need to live alone, all i have is myself anyway. Me and God. It just broke my heart. They used to smile every time they see me now i don't get anything. All he does is talk about all of our selfishness. I just cry now.I have tried to be quiet but i cannot be a doormat. They have ruined all their friendships and relationships and now me and theirs. All they do is talk about God and stay on all social media when not at work.  His perception is warped. 

He told me that Graves is so horrible and that he hates this and his life is just crap. He told me that God had cursed them. He is just throwing away 7 years like it was nothing. He told me that he needed a good woman to love not another man. My heart sank,  like i can get this time back. Like he or i can change genders I asked him why he is doing this to us, he started cursing me out told me f everyone, he doesn't need anyone.  Told me he didn't want a relationship anymore. Said he didn't need the effort . Told me he didnt like men like that anymore and that the only reason he deals with one is cause he was molested. He abruptly, left, his  Sister called me brother called me and said he was fired up and in a rage and they asked him to leave. He cursed them out too.  I told them we were over,  they begged me to call. I called he answered nastily said what do you want,  I said never mind you take care.  He called me drunk saying I love you, i miss you...etc. Than he called the next day crying and said he needed me and loved me and give him one more chance. He came home and was  cold, literally the next day. I was like he has to be bipolar too, but this isn't healthy for me I can do better than this. They make enough money where they didn't have to live with me. It is too emotionally draiing and he only sees his opinion and perspective.  Spontaneously he left, i changed the locks, he has blocked everyone close from contacting him,  does he understand the hurt that he has caused?Does he even care? We are likely through but they will never know what they have done to us all.