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Dating A Woman With Grave's

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#1 Mark2508


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Posted 13 March 2018 - 10:56 AM


I joined this forum today to get some more understanding about this disease. I've been dating a great woman who unfortunately has been diagnosed with Grave's. I've been with her (off and on) for almost 2 years and it has been a roller coaster of a ride I can tell you. multiple fights over ridiculous or imaginary stuff, multiple breakups. I recently (like just last night) replied to one of her emails after I had broken it off from her (again) for a month. Now we're talking again. I know she's been seeing an endo for this, but her endo doesn't seem the best at what she does.


I'm 65 and retired, she's 63 and still working in a high stress job (Flight Attendant). I still have a 20 year old at home just starting college who has emotional issues of his own, Plus a daughter (adopted) who is 30 and struggled with bi-polar illness (that caused a divorce between her mother and me), but she is doing fine now as long as she stays on her meds.


I'm trying to understand this and cope with her Grave's. I'm trying to be helpful. I'm doing my dead level best to keep reminding myself that her outbursts and accusations are caused by her disease and is not who she really is. But damn it sure is hard. This is a great woman. She's fun, witty and loves me to death. I love her too - when she's not bonkers (excuse the non-technical language). :rolleyes:


I would sure appreciate any help from members of this forum, any advise you can give me to be a better partner for her, and to cope with this better myself.


Thanks in advance,



#2 tasneemh


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Posted 14 March 2018 - 01:46 PM

Hi Mark,


I am 31 and have had Graves' for about 16 months now. The fact that she works a high stress job makes sense as to why she has many outbursts. Stress combined with Graves' is a horrible combination but unfortunately, we all seem to deal with stress every single day and I find with Graves' I get so much more overwhelmed with the smallest things. When was she diagnosed? I've only been married for 3 years but let my tell you my husband has seen the worst of me. God bless his patience. Having consistency in life I find is crucial so being in an on an off relationship may not be good for either of you. Life is too short for that especially as we get older. You are going through some battles as well so being strong for eachother can really help strengthen your relationship. I started reading this book called, "living well with graves' disease and hyperthyroidism by Mary J. Shomom. I am only on the 4th chapter but so far it has helped validate my feelings and experiences and it is quite insightful. 


It is not easy living with it but I know it is also challenging being on the other side of it too. One of the hardest things to deal with is having a partner who just doesn't understand what you are going through. Having someone who is patient, understanding and positive can really make a difference. 

I hope I was able to help you a little. :)


#3 mmztcass


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Posted 14 March 2018 - 03:59 PM

Hi Mark2508:


It sounds like your GF's thyroid levels may not be in the 'right' places for her to feel best there at.  How has your GF's thyroid been treated?  Is she just taking ATD (antithyroid drug) to treat or has she gone through getting the RAI?


Uncontrol GD symptoms can be hard, but once thyroid levels are in the 'right' places can help many of us feel more settled.


We teach people here to be proactive with their thyroid health and work on ways such as diet, taking the right amounts of meds, avoiding triggers, etc. to keep thyroid as balanced as possible.


So sorry you have to go through this.



#4 Mark2508


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Posted 15 March 2018 - 07:14 PM

Huge thanks to the responses I received. I have shared them with my GF. We are talking and trying to figure things out.


Again many thanks for sharing.


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