Graves Disease Has Ruined My Relationship
Posted 12 February 2011 - 10:38 AM
I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and he is my world and my best friend. We have an amazing relationship apart from 1 thing, he HATES moany and negative people.
I have been diagnosed with Graves disease for over 5 years now,
For the past 2 years i have been mean tempered, irritable, agumentative, i moan and get angry over the silliest of non important things, sometimes i cry over silly non important things, im moody etc etc. I can be very unreasonable, i blame my boyfriend for most things. I have gone completely off sex and it feels like an effort to do it.
My story is this:
For the past year my boyfriend has confronted me many times about my moods, he had said that he sometimes felt nothing for me as i was never happy and i would argue over things that were not important, he has given me many chances to address this. The last time was 2 months ago, he told me that he would give me 1 last chance to sort myself out or we were over. It was that bad that even his family who i love spending time with thought i moaned all the time, his dad told me that he would not let me come on day trips with him as i annoyed him with my negativity and whinging (that hurt), i promised my boyfriend that i would stop as i didnt want to lose him.
Everything was fine for a while but i really, really had to think about what i said before i said it and it was hard.
It seemed i didnt try hard enough as i slipped back into my old ways and starting doing it all again. The horrible thing is, in my head i would want to moan but i would say to myself, "why bother, its nothing to get upset about" but i wouldnt be able to stop myself and it would come out and then the arguments would start with him.
I can only discribe it as feeling like i am due on ALL the time and my hormones are wild.
I want to throw things, puch things, kick thoings (i have need been violent with a living thing)
This week it happened again over the fact he didnt stop playing a computer game when i walked into the room. We had a huge row and he told me it was over, there was no going back.
I laid in bed all night trying to think of the reason why i couldnt control my moods, i had given up smoking easily and i actually have no will power so why on earth, when i am faced with loosing the love of my life, could i not control myself? My boyfriend tells me that i am kind, funny, caring etc and that is why he fell in love with me and i thought to myself, i am not a horrible nasty person, what is going on??
I WILL NOW BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOU:
I have not taken my medication for my condition in 2 years as i really didnt feel there was anything wrong with me and it didnt seem to make anything feel different. This popped into my head and i decided to look it up on the net, everything i read about ppl with Graves disease seemed to mirror my problems. The next day i went to the doctors and apart from telling me off about not taking my medication (carbimazole) he told me that i am suffering with something called Graves Rage, he gave me medication and told me that it will all settle down, he explained all about it to me.
My next job was to try and get my boyfriend to understand what i had learned, that it wasnt me doing all this, it was my condition. But he was very angry, he said the damage has already done and that i had pushed him away, he said he doesnt love me anymore because of my actions over the past year or so. I literally had to beg him to read the information, he eventually did and said that it explained our situation perfectly and that he was sorry he didnt listen. He has said he will give us another go, because he hopes this is the problem too. But at the moment he doesnt love me, but what we had was so good that he doesnt want that to end. He has asked for space over the weekend which i understand, but i am so depressed, i havent stopped crying for 3 days since our last argument, even though he has now said "lets try again" i still feel down. If i had just taken my tablets when i was told to, we would not be in this situation and i think im sad because im the person who has caused all this. Over the past year my boyfriend has been so patient.
I am very confident of the future now, i am going back to the doctors to get anxiety pills as i feel anxious all the time, not sure how long the carbimazole tablets are going to take to kick in?
I would like peoples advice and experiences of graves rage, from my point of view and also from my boyfriends, what next for us? I will be showing this to him so he will see that im on the road to recovery.
Sorry for the long story but i needed to get it all out there xx
Posted 21 April 2011 - 06:42 AM
I have just joined the group and your post stood out for me. I developed graves disease after the birth of my child and was diagnosed when she was six months old. I totally understand you, I was a very negative person, I would lash out at my partner all the time and it wasnt healthy when you have a newborn. I was tired, moody, angry, depressed etc etc. I thought it was all part of the hormonal changes from having a baby and I had never heard of graves disease.
My partner has been fantastic and has put up with me throughout the whole process, things are a whole lot better for our relationship now. Im on medication and its been helpful. I also had post natal depression which I go to counselling for and we also do relationship counselling, Ive never been a fan of counselling but now I realise how helpful it has been, Ive learnt to meditate and my counsellor has made me more aware how our feelings and emotions affect us physically. I joined the gym and started to get more physical and eating healthy. Now Im happy to say that we are doing better, we are both happier and Im learning to live happily with graves. I wish you all the best.
Posted 18 June 2011 - 08:28 AM
I was diagnosed with Graves Disease 3 weeks ago, and to be honest, I had never heard of it until then.
I have started taking carbimazole and my heart rate seems to have slowed a little. I'm worried about 2 things:
My eyes feel a little swollen and uncomfortable - is there something I can do to prevent it progressing to bulging
Secondly, like you I am angry so easily and at the littlest thing and I take it out on my fiance all the time. He is an awesome guy and he doesn't deserve to be spoken to the way I speak to him - ever. But I keep doing it recently, it's like a little switch flips and I just start shouting at him over the tiniest thing, and what comes out of my mouth is so awful - he would never speak to me like that. And I feel remorse almost immediately, and he has been so forgiving, but then I do it again. It's not fair on him and I don;t mean to do it as I love him very much but I just get so incredibly angry. I feel like I've turned into a bit of a monster. I am really upset by it as I know I am hurting him and also cos I feel like I have lost control of myself. It's supposed to be a happy exciting time, we just bought a house together and we are getting married in 3 months, but I just feel stressed and I've put on weight cos I can;t stop eating - I'm hungry all the time, my skin is terrible and I generally just feel crap - and if I continue this way I'm going to destroy our relationship. I feel like I'm bipolar or something - I'll be in a great mood and the tiniest thing will set me off and I'll be so angry/sad/upset. Can you advise anything to do to ease this? I don;t want to take more medication other than what I am on. Thanks.
Posted 20 June 2011 - 06:23 PM
The best way to ride out the Graves' is to keep your thyroid levels (FT4 and FT3) at the optimal point in the normal range, where you feel best in every way. For some people that's at the middle of the range, and for others a little higher or lower.
Being overmedicated will make your levels too low and can cause some of the symptoms you describe, because your metabolism is running too slowly. And it can cause depression and wicked mood swings, whereas levels that are too high can cause you to be impulsive and irritable (the Graves' rage). Levels that are too low can also cause the eye disease to worsen.
If you get copies of your recent labs and post them here, along with the normal ranges, we can help you understand them (for example, my last FT3 was 2.7, with a normal range of 2.5 to 4.5).
Yvonne, in remission since 2003
Posted 06 December 2012 - 07:16 PM
Hey girly- you are ILL and you need to be treated for your disease! I am not sure why you stopped taking your meds- and I have never heard of Grave's not being treated but I suppose that occurs.. With Grave's, esp for women I think, the rush of thyroid hormone can turn us into maniacs and /or worse. And you could die too- just for the record.
You are too ill to be thinking about or worrying about anything or anyone else- go to see your doctor Tomorrow!! and get your labs done and if you dont care for your doctor then look for another one...but take care of this illness or you will suffer more damage than a broken heart! Your boyfriend and/or others simply do not understand what the illness can do to you moods and to your mind ( meaning your perceptions can be affected). Go to your doctor!!
Posted 08 January 2014 - 08:38 PM
Hey joban221, after reading your story I definitely wanted to reply to you because I can absolutely relate to your post. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years and I was diagnosed with graves around 6 months of dating him. I developed the eye disease, a year later had a surgery, and of the course of disease have become to most insecure and self conscious and irritable/moody/mean/depressed I have ever been in my life. There have definitely been so low periods in dating my boyfriend. We have been at the breaking point many times due to my attitude but he has remained patient with me. What I have found to be most important is that I love somebody so much to the point where I not only want to better myself for me but also for him. You have to truly want it for yourself firstly. My boyfriend is aware that the disease is not easy but helps me take pride in myself when I try my best. His love has made me realized that graves disease it not my life but rather an obstacle. I believe you and your boyfriend can figure it out together, it is amazing just what one person loving you wholeheartedly can do for your soul. I wish you the best of luck.