Very Distraught, But Not About Gd. How Do I Deal?
Posted 08 August 2013 - 10:39 AM
So my family's cat, Mona Lisa (she was beautiful), passed away this morning (12:45am). Mom let me know via FB. Mollie, my much younger sister (12), cried all yesterday as Mona had refused food or water and couldn't move. Mom and dad made Mona as comfortable as possible, as we knew it was coming for a while now. Even though she was skinny and frail, Mona was still playful at about 18 years old.
I'm so very distraught over the news. I haven't lived with my folks for about five years now, I don't know why I'm so upset. I live close to them, maybe 4 blocks, (I'm might attempt to walk it as the medication has been helping), so I do see them pretty regularly.
I also love cats; I have two of my own, Isis and Artemis. I love them dearly - they're my babies. They're not too old or anything. I know the Graves can make me very emotional, but I'm so devastated. I want to be there for Mollie, but I'm afraid I'd just sit there and cry. I have no idea where my period is, as I've gone off the birth-control (not having sex, no worries there, unless divine conception is coming back in style). I thought I'd get it a week ago now, but I was never really regular to begin with.
I don't know what's wrong with me, but I need to get it together. Maybe it's a combination of factors as to why I'm such a mess.
Anyone have any tips on relaxing and pushing through the bog of emotion so I can dole out some comfort?
Posted 08 August 2013 - 06:59 PM
I'm so sorry to hear this news! A pet can be a beloved family member so losing one is heartbreaking.
I see nothing wrong with crying in front of Mollie - it shows you are human and allows her to express her emotions.
You know that stress is bad for everyone and, most especially, those of us with Graves'. There's not much we can do
to avoid certain stressors such as the loss of Mona Lisa. The best we can do is to engage in stress reduction
techniques (such as yoga, meditation, tai chi and even prayer) and take even better care of ourselves than we
Time does heal and there are always memories. Maybe you and Mollie could reflect on the good times you had
with Mona Lisa.....and then cry some more if needed. You'll get through this.
I send healing thoughts your way.
Posted 08 August 2013 - 09:38 PM
I did visit my family, mom and I mostly talked about the time before Mona's passing, and that was hard. I tear up thinking about it. Mollie and I hugged a lot, we're huggers that way, mom not so much. I think it helped mom to talk about it; she told me about how Mona would fall asleep on her chair, and then fall off it. She'd stare around the room like one of us had pushed her off, and then she'd get up and do it again. It happened enough that mom took the chair upstairs, and Mona slept on the couch.
Mollie showed me the spot where they laid her, she had encircled it with large stones. Mom has a garden, and dad dug a grave about five feet down, and wide enough that she could lay in a natural position. Mona had her own little burial ceremony (which I missed, but that's okay), complete with coffin. Mom wants to get a little cat statue as a marker, (I suggested Bast), and she'll grow catnip there.
So I think it was productive and healthy visit. I'll try to clear my head tonight. I have some work for a friend I need to get to, that'll help relax me.
Posted 09 August 2013 - 12:33 PM
I found that I became much more emotional when I became hyperthyroid, or maybe my emotions rose closer to the surface. In eastern religions they say there are energy centers at various points in the spine, called chakras, and the thyroid is at the throat chakra, which has to do with speaking up and being heard--so maybe expressing your feelings can be a positive thing.
I was wondering if it would help you to keep a journal/diary, or to express yourself some other way, maybe in art--whatever works for you.
When I was hyper I was living in the country and was often alone for days at a time without a car. I became pen pals with two women I met here, and I have boxes and boxes of emails that we wrote each other (yes I know, hard copies--I'm a dinosaur lol). But it felt good to talk about my life and what I was going through.
I also had a little rescue dog who kept me company and helped me to remission. I believe our pets are there for us when we need them most. He died of cancer a year ago. I had to put him to sleep, and my wonderful vet made a donation in his name to a service dog organization. I continue to donate, and it helps me keep his memory alive.
As far as skipping periods, when hyper it's normal to have infrequent light periods. And when hypo they come hard and fast lol.
We are all here for you. Hang in there!
Yvonne, remission since 2005
Posted 09 August 2013 - 02:47 PM
Well, I'll admit something here, because I feel pretty safe in that most of this forum is open minded. I'm a practicing witch, (well, I practice when I'm well, of course that doesn't mean I'm any less of a witch without the practice part. It's not a religion, it's my way of life. It's who I am. Runs in the family, although to varying degrees and it often skips generations, but I think I'm getting ahead of myself).
Anyway, I'm very familiar with the chakras and chi/xi; I've done some minor energy work on close friends, (only when I'm well), although I'm not formerly trained in reiki. Of course, I can't work on myself when I'm so ill. I can meditate, and I keep it to that. Once I read that the throat chakra had to do with speaking up, which I had a huge problem with, and since then, I've made it a practice to say what I'm thinking, even if it may sound stupid.
I do express myself creatively, either through writing, drawing, or doing some freelance graphic design; currently I'm doing a mock-news paper pro bono for a friend. It helps get my mind off things.
That night after I made my first post, guess who came along? Flo showed up. I have always been irregular and super heavy (I'm like my mom that way), and it's most often very painful - which is why I was taking birth control. (I've gone off it since April, to see if it will help with the GD). I typically have thin blood, and if I'm cut deep enough, I will bleed and bleed and then need blood-clotting powdered stuff. (I used to work in a kitchen, I've had a two incidents involving my fingers and sharp knives).
I'm glad for all of your advice and that you shared your experience. Thank you so much.
Posted 09 August 2013 - 03:16 PM
And thank you for sharing, Sam. For every one of us who posts there are dozens of other people who read and relate.
The world today badly needs its seers and other sensitive people. And there is much room to develop our talents and perception when healing from Graves', as it calls on us to understand and heal ourselves. I have come to believe that there are no accidents, just opportunities to learn and develop.
This board has just started to come back to life after crashing some time ago, and I'm so glad you and the other current members are part of it.
Yvonne, age 59, remission since 2005 ("If I could reach remission, anyone can!")
Posted 09 August 2013 - 03:36 PM
Yvonne, you are a beautiful person. Your tagline of remission keeps me going, and even if I may not reach it, I'll keep trying. I've come to believe (long ago) that there are no coincidences.
I've been wanting to say that a bond is an understatement when that animal is your familiar. I took in Isis when she was a wild stray, something about her said, that one, she's meant for me. I saw her a few times as she would visit a friend's yard with the other strays for food. As a kitten, maybe 2 months, she would have nothing to do with anyone. I decided to take her home, my friend warned me to be careful picking her up, and I told her not to worry, she's my kitty. When I picked her up, I held her like a baby and she started purring loudly. My friend just looked at me, a little perturbed, (cats love her, she loves them, but not Isis, no.)
Posted 09 August 2013 - 04:29 PM
I had so much going against me when I became hyper that the tagline is very true. And after being "forced" to work on my own health, I turned it all around and now enjoy good health in a much better location and with positive and inspiring people around me.
I love the expression on Isis's face. Clearly you two have a very strong connection. I had a similar meeting with my "remission dog," Paulie. It was clear that he was waiting for me.
Life can be a great adventure if we don't let the difficulties frighten us. Talking to you today has been a good reminder of that for me.
Posted 09 August 2013 - 05:25 PM
Love and blessings your way. I know how hard it is to lose a pet, I've been there several times. It doesn't mean I am use to it and that it's any better.
I was thinking since you know energy work, you could try healing yourself for your thyroid if you haven't. I open myself to accepting all that I am within and work on healing myself as well.
Posted 11 August 2013 - 10:33 AM
I am sorry to hear about your cat. My brother just went through the same thing. Its so hard...
I am sending good thoughts and a hug your way...
I enjoyed reading the memory that you shared about her falling asleep and falling off that chair and looking around to see who did it. That's so funny. I told my 13 year old daughter about that because she heard me sitting by my self laughing while I read your post about it. When I told her what I was laughing about she started cracking up. Now she wants a cat...
Posted 17 August 2013 - 06:15 AM
apologies for the belated comment. I'm so sorry to read of your loss of Mona Lisa. My beautiful ginger tom, Charlie, died a couple of years ago after being the only constant in my life for 15 years. I was devastated and sat in my bed with my two little boys for about two days unable to function at all. We all cried and cried until there was nothing left. Such a sad time and I totally understand the emotional impact. I found it helped me to talk to friends who love animals about what had happened and how we all felt, because they empathised completely.
We had Charlie cremated then buried his ashes in the garden with a little shrub planted above the spot. I still think of him every day and feel really emotional right now, just thinking of him and how you must be feeling. Your other kitties will keep you going, they are great at sensing when you are sad aren't they.
Isis looks like my kind of cat! :-) We now have two siblings; a mottled black female and a grey tabby male. They seem completely crazy after having an old-man cat for the previous few years, but we love them dearly. Pets are members of your family who give unconditional love which is a very precious thing.
Thinking of you, hoping that time will heal the pain a little.
Posted 17 August 2013 - 12:31 PM
I've been sick with a summer flu recently, and Isis and Artey would both lay down with my on my small single bed. Usually it's one or the other, typically Isis, as Artemis will sleep with my niece. (If there's a child, she'll rest with the child, or the youngest in the house. Artemis is the daughter of another witch's black cat, Norman. She picked me out immediately. She and Isis get along like sisters).
Oh, and today happens to be Black Cat Appreciation Day.
I went to visit my mom this past Monday. I walked into the room that was Mona's and her absence just hit me. Everyone seems to be moving on, but Manny is still in mourning. Mom was reading that cats can be in mourning for a year, and that some cats can not handle the loss, and will mourn themselves to death. They're all giving him a lot of love and attention, although he's been a little aggressive, biting and swatting occasionally. It's very unusual, since Manny has always been very protective of us. Getting a new cat, would be a bad idea, says the website, as Manny is likely to horribly reject it. He would take care of Mona, clean her, let her eat first, protect her from any perceived harm. It's like he doesn't know what to do with himself now. His eyes are so deeply sad; I don't believe animals can't feel emotion.
Thanks for all the comments. I'm glad the memory of Mona had made you laugh, Jodileanne.
Posted 05 September 2013 - 06:35 AM
Sorry for posting late on this Sam. Sending you hugs and best wishes. Our little dog is our best friend and I know how much of a loss it is to lose a pet xx